It's one of those days when Murphy's Law is in full effect. You walk in the door and check your mail: more bills. Instinctively, you make your way to the refrigerator, open the door and search for "a little something" to eat. You spy a box of your favorite cookies, grab one and take a bite. The sweetness of the cookie evokes feelings of calmer, happier times. You savor the cookie, swallow it, then reach for another and before you know it, you've finished the entire box. "Well, now I've done it." you tell yourself, "I've ruined my diet and the day is now a complete waste". Your eye shifts to the leftover chocolate cake sitting pretty on the kitchen counter and you help yourself to a slice. Again, you delight in every bite but the dark, rich chocolate flavor leaves you wanting more. You cut another slice, then another, until the cake is gone. Feeling uncomfortably full, guilty and disgusted you berate yourself and create an all too familiar "promise" to begin anew.
Sound familiar? This is the pattern of a binge eater.
Binge eating Disorder is described by Health.com, as a "disorder which is a newly recognized condition that probably affects millions of Americans. People with binge eating disorder frequently eat large amounts of food while feeling a loss of control over their eating. This disorder is different from binge-purge syndrome (bulimia nervosa) because people with binge eating disorder usually do not purge afterward by vomiting or using laxatives."
Separately, The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition, defines a Binge as, "A period of unrestrained, immoderate self-indulgence" and a Disorder as "An ailment that affects the function of mind or body: eating disorders and substance abuse." Exactly just how long of a "period" are we talking about: a moment, an hour or an entire day of eating? Today, it seems, everything has a "term" or is labeled as an "ism" or "disorder". Way back when, the Blues were just the Blues, but today it's a diagnosis of Dysthymic Disorder, which is a form of mild depression. What gives? I mean, what's the harm in a few extra cookies and a slab of cake when you're having a bad day or the Blues? There isn't much harm in it, until it becomes a pattern.
How and why does a moment of sustenance sensitivity turn into a full blown binge eating disorder? There is an underlying psychological reason for it: Low self-esteem. In a November, 2001 article about "The Costs and Causes of Low Self-esteem", Self-esteem is defined as "a generalized feeling about the self, and the view that it is the sum of a set of judgments about one's value, worthiness, and competence." Therefore, low self-esteem could be defined as the opposite: generalized negative, feelings and judgments about the self. Additionally, low self-esteem is the number one underlying cause for most other psychological maladjustments such as anxiety, obesity, and addiction; it is also a risk factor for suicide attempts, depression, teen pregnancy and victimization by others. As far as I know, low self-esteem isn't its own 'ism' or disorder just yet.
Whether accompanying emotions are happy, sad, angry, bored, anxious or lonely, when they are coupled with a lack of belief in one's self it's an easy excuse, in this case, to reach for food. Very often the after effects of an eating binge: guilt, self-loathing and just generally feeling bad about one's self can lead to false self-promises which in turn fuel the vicious cycle of a binge eater. Here are seven tips to make you feel good about yourself and eating again:
1) Will you be a Victim or a Victor? The choice is yours. Discontinuing any behavior begins with making a choice: The bottom line is this: if you choose to be worthy of good things and good feelings then you shall have them. Choose that you will not be guided by disappointments in your life but rather, achievements and you shall succeed. Choose to become healthy, and you shall be healthy. Choose to become happy, and you shall be happy.
2) Get a Life......Coach! When you want to become adept at a sport such as tennis, baseball, football or running you turn to a coach. It's the same thing when you want to make better life decisions. Unlike therapy and more like a kick in the pants, a Coach is available to help people succeed. Patrick Wanis, Author, Human Behavior Therapist, Hypnotist and Life and Fitness Coach suggests in his new book, "Get What you Want" that if one changes their inner world and beliefs about themselves that they will change their outer world. He states that "True personal power begins when we can control our inner world, when we can control the way we react, think and feel to what happens outside of us. And yes, the outer world does affect our inner world but the greatest news, the secret, is that our inner world also affects our outer world, what we experience and create in our life. When we master our mind and inner world, we master and shape our outer world."
3) If you are the active type, consider a fitness plan. Begin by finding the right Fitness/Weight-loss plan to suit your personality. There are actually fitness/weight loss programs that encourage binge eating. That's right - your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Fitness programs such as the Body for Life Plan, for example, allow folks a free-day, one day week to eat what ever you want, provided you put in the work. The idea behind this is that the body, after dieting and exercising can be tricked into a type of "starvation mode" which would slow down the metabolism and actually hinder a person's weight loss efforts. Having a day of over-eating tricks the body into not thinking it is starving. This plan is clever because it eliminates the guilt issue. Seeing the positive results of such a plan can only increase the likelihood of success and will bolster self-esteem.
4) Keep self-promises. Why make a promise to yourself only to put it off? Honoring self-promises shows love and respect for you. Keep the promises small and realistic and believe that you are worth the follow-through and with every promise you keep, you will further develop your self worth.
5) Find a metaphor and create a story. Discover a way to remind yourself of how you visualize your success by temporarily creating a story and disassociating yourself from the issue. This may allow you to experience more empathetic feelings by providing a clarity you may not have had before. For example, consider the metaphor of a caterpillar that fears the change to butterfly. Understanding the caterpillar's fear of becoming a butterfly and how it tries to control the change by eating less may uncover major underlying food issues.
6) Remember, you are not alone. It didn't take the recent smash hit documentary, Super Size Me by Morton Spurlock, to enlighten us that all of America has an eating problem. Well, maybe it did. Sadly, our appetites have somehow become directly proportionate to the extra large helpings we've become accustomed to. In a recent CDC report entitled "Overweight and Obesity - Contributing Factors" it states that "People may be eating more during a meal or snack because of larger portion sizes. This results in increased calorie consumption. If the body does not burn off the extra calories consumed from larger portions, fast food, or soft drinks, weight gain can occur." Therefore, it should be no surprise that a basic meal can leave us with the same, full, disgusted, feeling as an eating binge. A good thing to do to gain a better perspective on healthier relationships with food is to learn about how other cultures like Japan, Italy and France for example, feel about food.
7) Embrace food. Food isn't meant to isolate, it is meant to bring people together. By developing an appreciation of food, you will discover there is more than just the hand-to-mouth motion of eating. Once you will learn to savor, identify and appreciate a food's ingredients you'll develop a respect and deeper love of food. So if you have favorite foods enlighten yourself: learn about the food's history, its ingredients or its health benefits. My advice: take cooking classes. Cooking is a great way to explore and discover new foods. By learning to prepare foods, we also learn how they are meant to be served and enjoyed. Education does something wonderful for food in the eyes of a binge eater because food is no longer perceived as a daunting monster but rather as something to be respected and embraced.
A final word: if binge eating incidents are perceived as an issue to be dealt with rather than a disorder to be cured, especially where low self-esteem is involved, most episodes can be conquered by simply recognizing issues, changing behaviors and making choices. What may begin as a love affair with food, can and will easily morph into something entirely different when low self-esteem is an underlying factor. This despondent relationship with food can become a coping mechanism, or a short term fix to control emotions and gain control over one's life. I'm here to tell you, this doesn't have to be the case. We control food. Food does not control us.
I found a clever quote online by a guy named Jose B. Cabajar, which said "Forgiving one's self is self-acceptance." In the event that a binge is eminent, forgive yourself once it's over and move on. If you understand that setbacks are the backbones of breakthroughs, and you choose to outwit your low self-esteem you will become a victor, a champion of the one person who means so much to you - yourself.
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